Being Great at Small Talk

I hate making small talk. It's either we talk about a major, earth-shattering/a-real-pain-in-the-ass /juicy/hilarious /heart-to-heart issue or we don't. I was never comfortable with making small talk and has never gotten past the bio-type of question: how old are you, what do you do and where do you live.

Working before as a sales executive made me realize the value of small talk. I wasn't good at it but my former boss just excelled at it, people were spilling information to him that you wouldn't normally tell someone whom you just met 5 minutes ago.

I realized he was so good at it for the following reasons:

1.) Being naturally enthusiastic

His liveliness is just so electric and you can't help but be affected. I noticed people immediately perk up when he talks to them and it actually makes people want to talk to him more.

2.) Being an excellent listener

He might talk a mile per minute but when you say something to him, it never goes inside one ear and goes straight out the other. He really listens and picks the next question or directs the conversation on what you just said. Customers feel like the most important people in the room when he focuses all his attention to them.

3.) Being observant

Your companion might just flicked out a brochure for just 5 seconds and he'll immediately take note of  what's written in it and bring that up in the conversation. That's how keen he is about his environment, especially about his customers.

4.) Being amusing

You necessarily don't have to be funny, you just gotta have the most amusing insights about life in general. I remember my former boss was 30 minutes late for a presentation for a client. The client was already fuming, was red as a tomato but still waited in the store. When my boss finally arrived, he kept bowing his head, apologizing profusely and he just looked so wretched, the client readily forgave him and kept laughing at him for bowing and apologizing for 10 minutes more.

5.) Being genuinely interested in people

It would be hard to fake that one, especially if you're talking to them personally. They'd pick up signs from your facial expression, your body movements, downright to your stance. 

7.) Being updated

Even though my former boss seems ready to pass out from his tiring schedule, he always seems to be updated on what's going on, in and out of the country. He can keep up with any types of conversation, from politics, entertainment, travel and gadgets. You name it, he's got something to say about it

Small talk should be natural and conversation should just flow smoothly. If you're thinking of what your next question might be and your audience might be fidgeting around, that's just a sign that maybe you need to try a new tactic which is focusing on what people are saying and not saying. Of course, there's a difference between being attentive and just being borderline creepy so just stay cool, take a deep breath and start the conversation all over again.